Episode 13: Elon Musk: Where it all began

Elon Musk is not just a billionaire tech mogul—he’s one of the most polarizing figures of our time. Some hail him as a genius innovator, while others view him as an erratic and dangerous figure who wields too much power. But to truly understand Musk, we need to start at the beginning.

In this first episode of our five-part deep dive, we uncover:

• Musk’s childhood in South Africa – A life shaped by extreme privilege, emotional abuse, and relentless bullying.
• His complex family dynamics – A domineering father, a resilient mother, and an early life of emotional isolation.
• The psychological profile of a tech titan – Asperger’s, OCD, PTSD, and the compulsions that define his leadership.
• His trauma and survival mechanisms – The roots of his emotional detachment, obsessive work habits, and relentless drive.
• How childhood shaped his leadership style – From building homemade rockets to running billion-dollar companies, Musk has always thrived on Chaos.

And as a special segment, The Blue Choir weighs in on a fun but revealing Hypothetical:

Musk invites you out for drinks and offers to answer one question. What do you ask? The responses range from biting political jabs to hilariously expensive drink orders—exposing the deep skepticism surrounding Musk’s influence on business, democracy, and the future of America.

Next Episode:

Episode 14 – The Vision of Elon Musk: Savior or Supervillain?

In Part Two of our series, we explore Musk’s grand vision—from Mars colonization to free speech absolutism. Is he truly building a better future, or is he just another billionaire playing god?

Transcript

Bella Goode  0:03  
Bella, Hello everyone, and welcome to surviving Trump. I'm Bella Goode, and today we're kicking off a five part deep dive into one of the most polarizing figures of our time. Elon Musk, over the course of the series will explore his upbringing, his vision, his leadership style, and the impact that he's had on politics, business and democracy itself, some see him as a genius innovator, others as an erratic and dangerous figure who wields too much power. Today, we start at the beginning his childhood in South Africa, the experiences that shaped his personality and the struggles that have followed him into adulthood, Musk is a complicated character. He's admired, he's feared, he's mocked and he's mythologized all at the same time. So before diving into his early life, I want to take a step back and ask, how do people perceive him, and what would they say to him if given the chance? Since this is the start of the series, I decided to pose a hypothetical question to the blue choir, the panel of friends and friends of friends who weigh in each week. Sometimes the question is serious, sometimes it's light hearted and speculative. The responses range from snappy one liners to nearly a page of thoughtful analysis. This week's question was a little ridiculous, but it led to some witty and revealing answers. So I asked them. Musk has nothing to do. He invites you out for drinks and offers to answer one question. What would you ask him and what would you be ordering to drink? The responses were as sharp as ever. Some went straight for the big questions like whether Musk ever truly cared about the causes he claimed to champion. One person didn't hold back. Were you ever committed to fighting climate change, or was it just to sell cars and their drink? Order a Bloody Mary so I could throw up all over him. Oh, okay, that's one way to put it. Others were more focused on Musk's leadership or lack thereof. One person wanted to know what of your management experience suggests that the chainsaw approach to cutting staff and agencies you clearly know nothing about will be effective and functional. And if Musk is buying, I'm not going to hold back on the drink order. I'd like a bottle of  Dom Perignon rose gold, 1996 it runs about $34,000

and please pour glass for me and my friends sitting over there. But do not, under any circumstances, give a drop to the sub human sitting with me here at this table. Just make sure to bill it to his account. Elon Musk's growing political influence was also a hot topic. One person got straight to the point. How many votes did you buy for Trump and their drink order a simple tall glass of water for themselves, at least as for musk, an Absinthe and arsenic, some respondents wouldn't even accept the invite. One put it bluntly, I have no question. I can't trust a sociopath to tell the truth and to get through the hypothetical meeting. I'll just sip a double shot of the McAllen 1926

with a bling H 2o water, because I'm sure that's the caliber of water Elon's used to having tossed in his face. That's vicious. Others solid as an opportunity to push Musk on his so called philanthropy. One respondent laid out the numbers. Hey, you've donated about 6 billion to the musk foundation, but that's only about 1.3%

of your wealth, since the distributions from your foundation to donor advised funds aren't publicly disclosed. How do we know this money is actually going to the greater good? Their drink of choice, something with personal history, doers, white label scotch, the same one I stole from my dad's liquor cabinet when I was 15, another person flipped the script, saying, first they would bore Musk with her family history, I love that their working class roots, their commitment to giving back and their decision to donate 25% of their wealth by the age of 50. Then and only then would they ask, what percentage of your entire wealth did you give to charitable organizations by age 50? These responses funny, biting and deeply skeptical capture the range of opinions on musk. Some see him as a powerful figure who could do good if he wanted to. Others see him as a con artist manipulating public perception for personal gain either way people are watching, they're questioning and sometimes outright rejecting his influence. But to understand where Musk is today, we need to go back to his childhood in South Africa, his early experiences and the events that shaped him into the figure.

He is now Elon Musk was born in 1971 in Pretoria, South Africa, a country that, at the time was under the brutal system of apartheid. While Musk himself has distanced his family from any direct involvement in the apartheid era wealth. The reality is that his upbringing was shaped by a world of extreme inequality, privilege and social tension. His family was wealthy, at least by South African standards, and he grew up with access to elite, private schools, business connections and resources that most children in the country, especially black South Africans under apartheid, could never have dreamed of. But despite his material comfort, Musk's childhood was not one of warmth and stability. Instead, it was defined by isolation, emotional neglect and trauma, a foundation that would shape his personality, relationships and leadership style for years to come. Musk's mother, may Musk was a Canadian South African model and dietitian. She was intelligent, independent and driven, a woman who built a successful career for herself at the time when it was far from easy. However, her marriage to Errol Musk Elon's father was deeply troubled. According to May, the relationship was abusive, and she eventually divorced Errol when Elon was about nine years old. But even after the divorce, Musk remained in his father's care, a decision that would leave a lasting mark on him. Errol Musk was an engineer, a pilot and a real estate developer who prided himself on his intelligence and business acumen. By Musk's own account, his father was an emotionally manipulative and abusive figure. In multiple interviews, Musk has described Errol as a terrible human being, though he has never gone into full detail about the extent of the abuse, what is known is that Errol was controlling, cruel and emotionally distant, and he often belittled Elon and broke down his confidence rather than nurturing it. Musk's younger brother, Kimball. Musk, born in 1972 was his closest ally in childhood. The two brothers would later go on to co found businesses together, including zip two and Tesla, unlike Elon Kimball, has generally stayed out of the limelight, though their bond remains strong, Musk also has a younger sister Tosca musk, born in 1974 who later became a filmmaker. But despite having siblings, Musk's childhood was largely one of emotional isolation. Musk was a deeply intellectual and introverted child more interested in computers, space and science fiction than in making friends. He taught himself to program at the age of 10, devouring books on coding, engineering and rocket science. While this intelligence should have been an asset, it only alienated him from his peers. He attended prestigious schools in Pretoria, but despite his elite education, Musk was brutally bullied throughout his school years. One of the worst incidents occurred when he was around 12 or 13 years old, a group of boys threw him down a flight of stairs and beat him so badly that he had to be hospitalized. He was left with a broken nose, severe bruising, an event that reinforced his sense of social isolation and emotional self reliance. Musk had said that for years he was the target of relentless harassment, often feeling completely alone, his escape Well, books, computers and his own mind at home, things weren't much better. While his mother had divorced Errol, Musk lived with his father for years, after enduring what he labored or described as mental torture. Instead of receiving emotional support, Musk was belittled and criticized. His father reportedly enjoyed tearing him down and making him feel inadequate. It's not hard to see how this environment shaped Musk's emotional detachment and extreme self reliance. From a young age, he learned that he could trust no one but himself. The emotional neglect Musk experienced as a child, did not disappear. It transformed into the personality traits that define him today, his need to push forward, no matter what the cost, his obsession with work, his difficulty with emotional intimacy, all stem from these early experiences, and for musk, it would go on to shape everything from his leadership style to his relationships to his erratic decision making. Elon Musk's mind is both his greatest strength and his greatest challenge, his ability to think in systems, to obsess over problems until he finds solutions, and to push himself beyond ordinary human.

Limits has made him one of the most influential figures of our time, but that same mind is also restless, impulsive and prone to extremes. Over the years, Musk has exhibited signs of compulsive behaviors and unresolved trauma. He has openly spoken about some of these struggles. Others, while not officially diagnosed, are observable through his actions, interviews and personal history. Understanding his psychological profile is key to understanding why he behaves the way he does in 2021

Musk revealed during his Saturday Night Live monologue that he has Asperger's syndrome, a condition on the autism spectrum that affects social interactions, emotional processing and communication. It was the first time he publicly acknowledged being neurodivergent, and while some took the announcement as a moment of vulnerability, others weren't surprised. Asperger's affects how a person interprets emotions, processes information and interacts socially. Musk, for example, is known for being well, blunt and unfiltered. He says exactly what he thinks often without considering how it's going to be received. He's socially awkward in traditional settings. He struggles with small talk, interpersonal warmth and picking up on emotional nuance. He's obsessive over specific interests. He hyper focuses on technology, engineering and space exploration, often to the exclusion of personal relationships. He's literal in his thinking, metaphors, sarcasm and emotional subtleties don't always land the way they do for neurotypical people, these traits have served him well in engineering and business, where brutal logic and obsessive focus can lead to groundbreaking innovation, but they also have made him a difficult person to work with, to date and to befriend. People who have worked closely with Musk describe him as somebody who lacks patience for human emotions. He dismisses feelings as distractions and struggles to form deep, lasting connections. This isn't necessarily because he doesn't care. It's because his brain prioritizes logic over emotional nuance in a leadership role, this has led to ruthless firings without consideration for employee morale or outcome, a work culture of extreme expectations with little sympathy for those who can't keep up and a transactional approach to relationships, both personal and professional, while Asperger's alone doesn't account for all of Musk's behavior, it does provide a framework for understanding why he is the way he is, and why he appears emotionally detached, why he struggles with social norms, and why his mind works at A relentless, almost inhuman pace. So if Asperger's explains Musk's detachment from emotions, obsessive compulsive disorder, otherwise known as OCD, explains his relentless need for control and perfection, Musk is known for his micromanagement, obsessive attention to detail, and extreme work habits, all hallmarks of someone with obsessive tendencies. His former employees have described him as a perfectionist to the point of dysfunction, unable to delegate tasks because he doesn't believe anybody else can execute them correctly. Here just to get a couple of examples of his OCD micromanaging every aspect of his companies down to the minor details most CEOs wouldn't bother with, requiring round the clock dedication from employees, expecting them to match his obsessive work ethic and constantly pushing the limits of what's possible, unable to accept even minor inefficiencies. One example of this came from Tesla employees who reported that Musk would sleep at the factory floor for weeks, personally inspecting cars, tweaking minor design flaws and refusing to rest until they were fixed. His obsessive nature led to incredible innovation, but also burnout, mass firings and erratic leadership decisions at times, his obsessions lead to impulsive, destructive behavior. His tweets, which have landed him in legal trouble, tanked Tesla's stock and cost him billions, often seem like compulsive outbursts, thoughts he feels he needs to express immediately, regardless of the consequences, hundreds of posts can appear in a single day from musk. This behavior is clearly still in evidence with his role in the government. Given his childhood, a cold, emotionally abusive father, relentless bullying and extreme social isolation. It's not far fetched to say that Musk likely suffers from this.

Some form of post traumatic stress disorder, also known as PTSD trauma, in the childhood can manifest in many ways, but common signs include hyper independence. Musk has an almost pathological refusal to rely on others, likely because his childhood taught him that he couldn't emotional detachment. He struggles with intimacy vulnerability and forming genuine emotional connections. He has a need for constant simulation. People with unresolved trauma often throw themselves into work distractions or reckless behavior to avoid confronting their emotional wounds. Musk has often spoken about pushing himself to the brink, working 100 plus hour weeks, barely sleeping and constantly seeking the next challenge while he presents this as a badge of honor, it's also a sign of someone who is unable to slow down without confronting internal pain. Some psychologists suggest that Musk's constant need to reinforce himself, launch new projects and dominate industries. Isn't just ambition. It's a trauma response, a way to stay ahead of his past rather than deal with it. Musk has openly admitted to struggling with depression in periods of unrelenting stress. Despite his outward confidence, moments of introspection and vulnerability do appear in interviews. He has said things like, I feel like I'm dying inside, and sometimes I get trapped in my own mind, and it's not a fun place to be. I work so much because I don't know what else to do with myself. Many people with high functioning depression appear relentlessly productive on the outside, but feel empty and restless on the inside. Musk's insatiable drive could be in part, an attempt to outrun that emptiness. Some of his more destructive habits, such as drug use, reckless spending and erratic decision making, may stem from this emotional void, an attempt to feel something, anything, to break through the numbness. Elon Musk didn't just grow up. He evolved into a force of nature, carrying with him the psychological traits and behaviors shaped by his childhood and mental landscape. His obsessiveness, emotional detachment, extreme work ethic and impulsivity didn't fade as he entered adulthood. Instead, they became defining aspects of his leadership style, business decisions and relationships. Some of these traits have fueled his unmatched success, allowing him to innovate in ways few can others have made him erratic, controversial and often destructive to himself and to those around him and to the industries that he dominates. Here are some of the key traits that followed Musk into adulthood, and how they continue to shape his life. Today, he has a work ethic that borders on self destruction. Musk's ability to outwork, Outlast out think his competitors is legendary, but this isn't just a natural inclination. It's a survival mechanism. As a child, must learn to rely only on himself, and as an adult, that turned into a work ethic so extreme that it often comes at the expense of his own health and well being. He regularly works 100 hours a week, sometimes sleeping on factory floors rather than going home. He's admitted to skipping meals, missing sleep and pushing himself to the brink of exhaustion. He often expects the same thing from his employees, demanding unrealistic deadlines and extreme commitment. Tesla employees have spoken about the grueling work conditions under Musk's leadership, describing a culture where burnout is not just expected, but it's celebrated. A former Tesla engineer once said, Elon believes that if you're not suffering for the mission, then you don't care enough. The more exhausted you are, the more valuable you seem to him. Musk doesn't just push himself to the limit. He expects everyone around him to do the same, and this has led to some incredible breakthroughs, but also mass firings, lawsuits and employee backlash to musk. Working less than 80 hours a week means that you're replaceable. Musk has also struggled with emotional connection, something that has become even more pronounced in adulthood, his Asperger's trauma and obsessive focus on logic make it difficult for him to navigate relationships in a normal, emotionally nuanced way. He often sees people as assets rather than emotional beings. He can be blunt, insensitive and dismissive of emotions he doesn't understand. He struggles with interpersonal warmth, which makes him a cold, transactional leader at Tesla SpaceX and Twitter now. X employees have described a culture of fear where Musk's approval is unpredictable and emotional considerations are secondary to efficiency. One former executive recalled in.

If you went to him with a personal issue, if your kid was sick, and if you needed time off, he'd just stare at you like you were speaking another language, or like you had two heads. Oh, so he's also impulsive and risk taking. The question is, is it genius, or is it recklessness? Musk is known for making massive life changing decisions on a whim, whether it's a billion dollar investment, a company shakeup, or a tweet that sends stock prices crashing, he often acts first and deals with consequences later. Some examples of his impulsive, high risk behavior. Well, there was the time when he announced Tesla's stock would be taken private at $420 a share in a tweet. He did it in a tweet without securing funding, which led to the SEC violations and lawsuits. He's also been known to lay off 1000s of Twitter employees overnight without a transition plan, crippling the platform's operations. He's taken wild unnecessary risks in business, such as selling off nearly all of his real estate and assets because he believed his own property was a distraction. He has publicly feuded with world leaders, journalists and even his own investors, sometimes over trivial matters. This kind of high stakes decision making is part of what makes him a visionary, but it's also what makes him dangerous. Musk has a deep seated need to control everything around him, likely rooted in his childhood trauma and obsessive tendencies. He micromanages every detail of his companies, sometimes to the point of inefficiency. He surrounds himself with people who won't challenge him, leading to bad decision making. He frequently clashes with regulators, governments and even the media, refusing to be held accountable. This control obsession extends to its public image as well. Musk despises being questioned, criticized or overshadowed, and he uses his platform to dominate public discourse. If someone crosses him, he publicly humiliates them on social media. He probably fires them without hesitation, and for sure, he cuts them out of his life entirely. Musk is not just trying to build companies. He is trying to build an empire that outlasts him. He talks frequently about colonizing Mars, ensuring humanity's survival long after Earth is gone, he pushes technological advancements that blur the line between human and machine. He positions himself as a global figure, inserting himself into geopolitics, diplomacy and major world conflicts. This isn't about innovation. It's about power. Musk wants to be remembered as one of history's greatest minds, but his unchecked ambition, lack of empathy and compulsive need for control, raise questions about what his true end game really is. Is he really trying to save humanity, or is he simply building a future where he is untouchable, unrivaled and unchallenged. So switch gears and talk about relationships for a second. His approach to relationships is highly intellectual rather than emotional. He connects over ideas, not feelings. This makes him a challenging partner, friend and even father. His interpersonal style is shaped by his Aspergers, obsessive work habits and emotional detachment, which often result in relationships that are transactional rather than deeply personal. He's been married three times and divorced three times, struggling to maintain long term emotional bonds. His romantic relationships tend to burn bright and then fade fast, often making headlines for their intensity and public unraveling. Partners have described him as a distant, emotionally unavailable and hyper focused on work over personal connection. One of his ex wives, Justine musk, described their marriage as one where she felt like an employee rather than a wife, highlighting how Musk often sees relationships through a practical, strategic lens rather than emotional one. This difficulty extends beyond romance. It also impacts his ability to form and maintain friendships, as well as his relationships with his children. Musk is the father of 13 and maybe 14 children, spanning relationships with multiple women, including his ex wife Justine musk and musician Claire Boucher, also known as Grimes. His relationship with Grimes has been particularly public, chaotic and unconventional, marked by on, again, off, again, dynamics, secret children and philosophical clashes over technology and humanity's future. Their children's names reflect Musk's obsession with the future artificial intelligence and technology. I am baffled by these names, and I will do my best to tell you what they are.

But it's not easy. He has a son named X. But x is short for X, A, E, A, dash 12, Musk. It's good thing, and they shortened it to x. They have a daughter, Exa, Dark Sididerael Musk. And they have a son. I didn't know this till recently, they have a son by the name of Techno Mechanicus. Techno Mechanicus, while Musk claims these names are a tribute to space AI and mathematical precision, others see them as a symbol of his detachment from traditional human relationships, almost as if his children are projects rather than people. They disconnect from traditional fatherhood is evident in his lack of public acknowledgement of some of his children, one of his children, Vivian Jenna Wilson, even changed her name and gender publicly stating that she wanted nothing to do with her father. So it's also curious why Musk currently is showcasing X his son in Washington, one of his children, Vivien Jenna Wilson, even changed her name and gender publicly stating that she wanted nothing to do with her father. Musk's most visible child appears to be X, and he has been appearing alongside him in high profile meetings and events, particularly in Washington, DC and other political spheres. This has raised questions about Musk's motivations for bringing his toddler son into the public eye in ways he hasn't done with any of his other children. There's a couple of possible reasons he's trying to brand himself as a family man. Muskets faced ongoing criticism for being emotionally detached, ruthless in business and unconcerned with the human consequences of his actions. Publicly appearing with his son allows himself to present a softer, more relatable image, one of a father actively involved in his child's life in an era when billionaires are increasingly viewed as out of touch elitists. Musk is showing himself as a hands on Dad, helping to counter the perception that he's a cold, calculating CEO with no real human ties. Another possible reason is that he's positioning his son as the future. He's repeatedly described his children as an essential part of humanity's next evolution, often linking them to his futuristic vision for space colonization, AI and technological progress. He has implied that x is being raised in a highly intellectual, engineered environment, similar to the child prodigy narrative Musk himself was once attached to public appearances with X reinforce Musk's self image as a leader shaping the next generation, in a way, X is not just his son. He's a symbol of Musk's vision for the future. Another reason, well, it could be political influence and image control. His increasing presence in Washington and political circles suggest that he is actively working to cement his influence in US policy and tech regulation. By bringing Exelon, he creates a visual distraction, making Musk appear less like the tech mogul seeking power and more like a devoted father, balancing work and parenting. It makes meetings feel more informal and personal, potentially softening the atmosphere in high stakes political discussions, it signals longevity. Musk isn't just in the game for himself. He's building a future for his child and, by extension, for all of humanity. Bringing X to these meetings humanizes musk, making it harder for critics to dismiss him outright. It also allows him to control the public narrative, shifting focus away from his more controversial business and political moves. Despite these public appearances, Musk does not appear to prioritize emotional closeness with his children. Like many aspects of his life, his parenting style is shaped by logic, control and efficiency, rather than deep emotional connection. So with all that said, it does seem like it's the making of an enigma. Elon Musk's formative years created a man of extraordinary intellect, resilience and ambition. However, they've also left him emotionally distant, struggling with conventional relationship dynamics. His childhood was not one of warmth and security, but rather one of survival and self reliance. These experiences shaped his approach to friendships, romance and fatherhood, often leaving him disconnected from emotional intimacy. As we analyze Musk's early years, the question arises, did these hardships create a visionary, a genius, or did his childhood experience create the evil man appearing today in countless news headlines, his story is far from over, but one thing is certain.

One his past continues to reshape his present, and the world is watching to see how that story unfolds. We'll continue the tale of Elon Musk in our next episode, Episode 14. It's the second of our five point series on musk. We will zero in on his leadership and how he builds, inspires and sometimes terrorizes the teams behind his empire. And in the meantime, I'll leave you with this. If you had just one question for Musk over drinks, what would it be? Just hypothetical? Hope you will join me next week when we continue our series on Elon Musk. And before you go, I have two favors to ask. Join the conversation. The transcript and links for this episode are available, so let's talk. Drop a comment, ask a question, push back on ideas. This isn't just a podcast, it's a community. And tell me what you think. Do you love the show? Let me know. Have a critique. I want that too. Should I keep it going? Should I shift gears? Your feedback shapes what comes next. And hey, follow me on blue sky. Let's keep the discussion going. And on that note, I leave you with some humor from Stephen Colbert on the night show

regarding representative Al Green's protest at Trump's State of the Union address, Colbert noted, ultimately, Speaker Mike Johnson called in the sergeant at arms to remove the 77 year old Texas Congressman. Now some people have a question, why so much muscle was needed to remove one old man with a cane. So Colbert then quipped, but it turns out it was for a serious reason. When security searched him, they found out he smuggled in a spine.

Until next time, stay engaged, stay informed, and most importantly, stay in the fight. This is Bella Goode. Signing off. 

Transcribed by https://otter.ai